Nermin Ceri
Cancer hat to make a presentation
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WHO AM I ?
I
had always thought that I have suffered disadvatages in life since my birth
as a 7- month premature baby 43 years ago. However, I now realize that my
faith of being born as a 7-month baby in fact has some advantages.
It
was an extremely difficult premature birth due to a complication, which caused
my mother to go into a coma. After my birth, which took place in Germany, my
mother stayed in coma for 5 days and I found myself in a stuggle for life
screaming: "Wait a second, I must live, I must see my mother, I must plunge
into this life in which I will have a distant relationship with my father, I
must be brought up by my beloved granma and granpa, I must enjoy my
childhood as a hyperactive child, I must go through a divorce after finding
out my husband (whom I thought I loved) has an agenda of his own, I must
meet the people I have dreamt of meeting and sacrifice myself naively only
to realize that these people had actually used me, I must, in time,
painfully realize the fact that the celebrities who used to sing to
themselves before I made them famous would never keep their promises, and I
must try to digest the reality of being used, I must go through the
unbearable pain of burying my best friend with my own hands after her sudden
death, I must confront a step-mother who had married my father for his money
and denied my part of the inheritance after my father's death and fight this
woman, who has no fear of god, in the courtrooms, I must, over time, realize
the fact that by giving our last savings to someone who was buying a house,
my mother and I had actually been abused by this person... I must live!'
Well,
I haved lived…and experienced all the sorrows as well as the happiness.
And paid the price one day by meeting cancer. And I have decided to draw a
lesson from this experience.
When
I first heard my condition I never uttered words like 'why me?'. Because I
already knew that everything we have to go through is God's way of testing
us. I knew it while I was struggling to understand a guy like my father,
while I was witnessing my dearest friend's unexpected death…My life is full
of events that I could draw lessons from. And I tried to learn my lessons.
I have even been successful at times. And now confronting my condition, I
am not scared or hopeless. God has shown me a red card because I sacrificed
a lot in my career and made a lot of concessions from my conceptions. I tore
myself apart for other people. There were times I wanted to quit and try out
something else, but I couldn't do it. My mother wanted me to give up my job
as well, but once you're in this, it really becomes impossible to leave,
because all of us are born with some type of talents and we use them to make
a living. Is this such a bad thing? Of course, not. However, I was never
able to take things easy when it came to work. After all, I've worked with 15
celebrities, each with a different character. I treated each and every one
of them as my unborn child. So, their success made me happy and their
mistakes became the source of my unhappiness. The worst was the
disappointment of being left out: These people had once needed me and now
that they became famous I was forgotten, I was dispensible, my services were
not needed any more. However, they forgot one thing; we will meet again when
it's time for them to come down that ladder of fame. Alas, these things may
have hurt me and cost me my health.
On
the other hand, it was my own fault as well as theirs. Nobody forced me to
work frenetically for these people. I could've taken it easy. Unfortunately,
I wasn't able to…
